A Minor Rite of Passage

So, Lauren went to a dance this past Saturday. This was one of those bittersweet moments as a mother. Kind of like when you look at your daughter and for the first time realize she is no longer a little girl. And, about the same time you look down and go, "Oh my god you have cleavage!" "If I have to tell you to pull your shirt up one more time, I am going to staple it to your chest!" Anyway, after the dance our conversation went something like this:

Me: "How was the dance, did you have a good time?"

Lauren: "Yeah, it was fun!"

Me: "Was the music good, what did they play?"

Lauren: "Just normal music." "You wouldn't know any of it."

Me: "Oh, yeah, the kind that makes me want to beat my head against the wall and stick sharp objects in my ears to deafen myself."

Lauren: "Oh god mom."

Me: "Did you dance?"

Lauren: "Kind of, I guess."

Me: "With a boy, because you know your father and I..."

Lauren: "No mom, we all danced together, in a group."

Me: "Okay...cool!"

Lauren: "Can I go again next Saturday?"



Oh man...these are the times I wish she was homely and would rather stand in the corner and pick her nose. I remember when I was pregnant and about ready to pop, Lauren and I were driving while having a conversation similar to the one above. The song Letter to Me by Brad Paisley came on the radio. If you've never heard the song, I've added it to my playlist, along with John Mayer's Daughters. Anyway, I'll blame it on the hormones associated with pregnancy, but of course I got all teary...okay fine I balled my eyes out and proceeded to have the, "You really don't need to grow up quite so fast" talk. As complicated as our adult lives get, I certainly would not want to be thirteen again in these times. Seems no matter what you do as a parent, they still come home at least once a week asking, "What is blank?", or, "What does it mean to blank?" To which I respond, "That's it, we're heading to Pennsylvania to join the Amish!" And yes, I am quite aware they would not let us within ten miles. "But they don't have Abercrombie there do they?" "No, which is precisely my point!" *sigh* So, apparently Lauren will be going to the dance again this coming weekend. And as I told her, "Just remember, you never know if I am sitting outside in an undercover car watching your every move...just kidding." Or am I...